It's Friday. Sex?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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