marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize