okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
