I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm having to shit out rocks
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