Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
