Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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