butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
