no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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