But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
