We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize