Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
