He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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