Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she looked like the before picture.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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