I'm lost and stupid without you.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
