i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
