dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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