Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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