i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
