It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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