i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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