If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Fuck appropriateness.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
