Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
