I'd wear matching sweaters with you
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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