Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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