Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
