I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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