DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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