google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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