Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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