shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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