We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
