You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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