I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
