his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He felt like a one man threesome
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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