i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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