"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
