Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
