im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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