I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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