Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
