I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
