OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
