East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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