operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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