and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
