I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
