I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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