It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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