The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
