There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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