You can't motorboat a personality
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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