Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize