I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
