I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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