I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
