First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You ate ashes out of my bong
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
