We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
