She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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