is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
