I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize