I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Let's get the cat blown out
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
